she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is Oprah even human
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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