So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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