now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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