is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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