my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
