You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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