1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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