smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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