We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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