She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
