What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
