well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
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She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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