just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
