Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize