I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Buhtt sex?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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