Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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