Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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