As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I need a burrito and a hug.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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