Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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