The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
