I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
