Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
