So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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