So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
