2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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