That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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