Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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