Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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