Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
