the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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