I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
