just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
