$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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