I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
