I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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