i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
