I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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