oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
