Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize