he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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