all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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