My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
