I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
