You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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