If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
