She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
