wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
