let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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