i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
