her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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