Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
