Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
