office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
