I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
