Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
