I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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