he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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