Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
