dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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